Blogging for self and others.

I have kept a journal since I was tiny. I remember my first journal in grade 3 – it had a small lock and key, and I wrote a few words of my daily happenings in it. High school expanded into many journals, and in university I was at a very prolific writing period. Especially while travelling, I was able to fill notebook upon notebook with my observations and questions. The top shelf of my closet is lined with at least a decade of my writing.

Leaving for an extended period in Rwanda seemed like an ideal time to start a blog. I started by giving my blog address to about ten people. It was a way for my worried and interested friends and family to keep tabs on me while I worked on the other side of the planet. My blog was personal and emotional, and many commented that maybe it was too personal. I didn’t hold back much for my blog. My closest people told me they checked it everyday. Now, although I still very, very rarely give out my blog address, some people I barely know check it regularly. My blog has gotten much less personal somehow, I’ve noticed it wander into the realm of mundane a few times. My blog doesn’t often reveal my inner workings anymore.

I see people in my life scared to share their real thoughts, concerns, insecurities, dreams and hopes. Yet there is a deep longing to know that our inner selves are not alone; that we share similarities with others at a deep level. I used to write for this reason, to share my humanness with those other souls that needed connection to an honest truth about living. Now, although I am less apt to write intimately, I am more open on a person-to-person level about who I really am and what is really happening to me.

I have been considering two things: closing up my blog, or really writing on it. Because lately I notice I am writing mostly for the sake of doing it. My heart either needs to be in it, or not. Otherwise I’m not sure what the purpose is.

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~ by kcanderson on July 7, 2008.

4 Responses to “Blogging for self and others.”

  1. I think your entries are beautiful and every time I open your blog I discover that much more about you.
    Discontinuing your blog for the sake of a few seems unfair to those who love it.
    I encourage you to continue for all of us who love reading your entries.

  2. I think your entries are beautiful and every time I open your blog I discover that much more about you.
    Discontinuing your blog for the sake of a few seems unfair to those who love it.
    I encourage you to continue for all of us who love reading your entries.

  3. There is something incredibly comforting in reading your thoughts because they resonate with something deep in me. While I understand how you feel, with being honest to yourself when you’re writing and the corresponding risk that comes with it, sometimes it’s the only form of communication that lets me know where and how you are. And it is important to me to feel that connectedness with you. I’m just not sure how else to continue the connectedness if you stopped writing.

  4. I have to agree with the people above me. It’s nice to know others think the same way, and even if you don’t reveal as much as you used to, those who understand what you’re trying to say, will read between the lines. I try to do the same on my blog, but I admit that I can’t be as open as I am in person, simply because of the career we’re in too. Sometimes honesty can be misunderstood and twisted, so I think that’s what holds me back sometimes on my blog.

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