This blog permiates my thought process on a daily basis. I often talk to myself in my head as if I was writing a blog. I’m not sure why this has evolved or what purpose it serves, except to substantiate the small details of my day-t0-day life that no one sees but me. It connects me to a bigger world, because I imagine that most people face the idiosyncracies that I face. Writing them down makes me feel more normal.
I’ve had an experience lately that’s been hard.The experience has been living with myself. I’ve had time this summer to be slow and deliberate, to meditate, to be with friends and family, to observe my thoughts. Lately I’m observing my thoughts all the time. Obliviously, I usually walk asleep through my life, not often challenging my constant chatter brain. Occasionally throughout my life I’d be irritated with it.
But for the last few weeks, my head is full. I feel anxious with the chatter that happens up there as I’m preparing for clerkship. All the worry, all the anxiety, all the questioning and planning. It takes a lot of energy to just quiet it all down.
And this is really what yoga is about at the smallest of levels.