I went to Canadian Tire this morning to get my all-season tires put back on.
Because it was going to take them an hour, I had the opportunity to walk around the mall on my own and interact with my fellow humans. I really don’t like the mall on a normal basis. It evokes this deep-down discomfort with materialism I’ve battled through my whole life. It exhausts me. It makes me really worried about the planet.
Today was different (not in terms of concern for the planet… that was incredibly prominent in my experience). I was thinking about last night and all the suicidal people I met. I wandered around the mall, watching everyones faces, watching them travel through Walmart with their families, watching them eating in the food court. Us humans, we are all so independent in our heads. We wander around in our own spaces, creating our own unique impressions of the world around us and what it all means. We have moments of brief conscious interaction with other humans, then we return to thick unconscious interaction with one another. Wandering through walmart picking out tupperware and hair products and school supplies.
The expressions on peoples faces are incredibly rich and diverse. They hold so many stories. I couldn’t help but thinking how crazy it will be to care for people as a family doctor, to collect pieces of all of these human stories. I can’t think of many privileges as great as that.